Project Renewment Group

The book Project Renewment, published in 2008, has caught my imagination--not so much for the book itself, but for the possibilities it stirs up for me. Two women wrote the book--Bernice Bratter, a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and advocate for women & aging; and Helen Dennis, an expert on aging, employment, & retirement--after developing a new model for career women looking for an alternative to the traditional forms of retirement. Project Renewment began as one small group in California, connecting women close to retirement or recently retired, and has grown into a movement of sorts with groups continuing across the country. The authors describe the concept as "a combination of retirement and renewal," suggesting "optimism and opportunity, growth and self-discovery." It's really about women learning together, from each other and from themselves, to make the coming years abundant with life, passion, and purpose.

My vision is to start the process in the Chicago area, with the first group beginning September 21, a Monday night at 7:00, in our Park Ridge offices. We will meet together for 4 weeks, processing some of the book topics together (including "Who am I without my business card? What if he retires first? What is productivity anyway? Why do I feel guilty reading a book at 3:00 p.m. on a Tuesday? How do I feel about not earning another dollar?"). We will also bring in other relevant resources as needed or desired by group members--from books, movies, and news sources. This is not a "therapy group"; but it is not a traditional "support group" either. It is a new creation developed by and for career women, building on the strengths and processes that already have aided women in their professional lives. My hope is that group members will find sufficient support and inspiration to continue meeting on a longer-term, monthly basis, as highlighted in the Project Renewment model.

If this process catches your imagination as well, please contact me before this group fills up (we're limiting the first group to six women). Reach me by phone at the Willow Wellness Center at (847) 318-8200 or email at lcampbell@willowwellness.com. Thanks.

Diversity of Faith Traditions

Our staff consultation group has been talking about spirituality and religion, and how faith issues impact both our clients' lives and psychotherapy, and it occurred to me to make a list of all the different faith traditions we've welcomed here at Willow in the last 4 years. I was amazed at the diversity, especially because we practice in a suburban area that on the surface seems anything but diverse. Take a look (in alphabetical order), though know that we've left out a couple very small religions in the interest of protecting our clients' confidentiality, as well as many people who consider themselves "spiritual but not religious":

• Episcopal Church
  
• Evangelical Christian Churches (non-denominational)
  
• Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA)
  
• Greek Orthodox Church
  
• Jainism
  
• Jehovah's Witness
  
• Jewish (Orthodox, Reformed, cultural)
  
• Lutheran Church--Missouri Synod
  
• Muslim
  
• Presbyterian Church
  
• Roman Catholic Church
  
• Salvation Army
  
• Seventh-day Adventist
  
• United Methodist Church
  
• Unity
  
• Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod

New Old Age

There is a wonderful new blog on the NY Times website titled "The New Old Age." It deals with all kinds of topics on aging and caregiving. Check it out at http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com.

Can Christians Meditate?

Meditation is the practice of focusing the mind. Although many people associate meditation with Eastern religions, Christianity also has an important meditative tradition. The Bible mentions the word "meditate" or a variation at least 20 times. In Joshua 1, the writer tells us to meditate on God’s word.

Many Christian saints were practitioners of meditation, and encouraged others to learn to meditate. St. Ignatius of Loyola wrote about meditation in his Spiritual Exercises. St. Teresa of Avila wrote about her daily meditative practice in a wonderful book titled The Interior Castle. More recently, Father John Main, a Benedictine monk, taught a type of meditation that makes use of a repeated phrase, or mantra. Centering prayer is another meditative method that has been taught by Father Thomas Keating and Father Basil Pennington. Richard Foster, who wrote the book Prayer, is one of many Protestants (including some on Willow’s staff) who utilizes meditative techniques.

For Christians, quieting the mind and clearing out extraneous thoughts is a way to prepare for God's inspiration. Like prayer, meditation is a form of worship. It can be considered a way of kenosis – the “self-emptying” that is modeled after Jesus’ life (Phil. 2: 6) – that allows God to enter in. In our busy lives, we can be easily distracted. Meditation is a way of intentionally moving our focus back on God.

There are all kinds of meditative techniques that can be used to develop a meditation practice. You may have heard of Transcendental Meditation, tai chi, zen meditation, or others. At Willow Wellness Center, we teach Mindfulness Meditation, which is a well-researched method that has been scientifically shown to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, and is associated with a number of additional health benefits. It has been used to help individuals cope with chronic pain, and is taught to parents who are interested in developing new ways to relate to their children. Mindfulness meditation can be easily used by those of many faiths to clear their minds of distractions.

Love and Aging: A Valentine's Day List

Love and Aging: A Valentine’s Day List of Books and Films

Away from Her (2007). Julie Christie has been winning slews of awards, deservedly, for her tender portrayal of a woman with Alzheimer’s. This is really, though, the story of a 40-year marriage and how it adapts when Christie’s character, Fiona, moves into a nursing facility and attaches herself to another resident. A remarkable story—not perfect, certainly, but beautifully written and acted. (PG-rated; 110 min.; directed by Sarah Polley)

Crossing to Safety (Wallace Stegner, 1987). Stegner, a Pulitzer Prize-winning writer, beautifully tells the story of two couples who form a deep friendship during the Depression, intertwining their lives for the next several decades. We get an inside view on their marriages, their friendships, their personal tragedies, their very human-ness.

For Better or for Worse … But Not for Lunch: Making Marriage Work in Retirement (Sara Yogev, 2001). Originally released just before September 11, 2001, promotions for this book were overshadowed by world events, and it truly deserves a much larger readership. Yogev, a Chicago-area psychologist specializing in work-family issues, offers a solid guide to strengthening love relationships in the midst of often-unexpected challenges such as “too much togetherness,” differing views on time and responsibility for children and grandchildren, and tension over finances and future goals.

Harold and Maude (1971). A funny, quirky film, one of my all-time favorites, about a unique love match between a full-of-life 79-year-old woman (played by Ruth Gordon) and a death-obsessed young man (Bud Cort). The pair meet at a funeral then develop an affectionate relationship through which Maude teaches Harold to truly enjoy life and love. (PG-rated; 91 min.; directed by Hal Ashby)

Love in the 90s: B.B. & Jo - The Story of a Lifelong Love : A Granddaughter's Portrait (Keri Pickett, 1995). A beautiful tribute to the author’s grandparents and their nearly-70-year love story. Pickett’s black-and-white photographs of B.B. and Jo are stunning on their own, but gain a certain depth from being interspersed among old photos and love letters exchanged by the couple in the 1920s.

Still Doing It: Women & Men Over 60 Write About Their Sexuality (Joani Blank, Editor; Down There Press, 2000). The writers featured in this unusual collection of stories share their personal experiences of sexuality and aging. The editor, a sex therapist/educator over 60 herself, has gathered stories that are often surprising, always honest, and at times quite graphic (in the descriptions of sexual behaviors). Includes experiences of straight, gay, and bisexual writers.



Now that you’ve read my list, please feel free to email us your own favorites at info@willowwellness.com. Thank you!

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